We're Celebrating The Wrong Groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil is Historically Terrible At Predicting The Weather
BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Scampered Away From His Shadow Like A Little Bitch And Locked Us Into 6 More Weeks Of Winter
It Is With A Heavy Heart That I Announce Punxsutawney Phil's Groundhog Day Festivities Will Take Place Virtually With No Crowd Due To COVID-19
BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Just Clipped Off Old Man Winter's Saggy Balls And Declared An Early Spring
Hard FactorHard Factor 2/4: Virginia's Governor in Blackface, Tekashi 6ix9ine Turns Snitch, and Canada Appropriating Groundhog Culture
Punxsutawney Phil Shoves His Shadow And Old Man Winter In A Locker By Declaring It Will Be An Early Spring
Chuck Pagano's Press Conference Talking About Hurricanes And The Movie "Groundhog Day" Was A Goddamn Masterpiece Of Awkwardness
