Punxsutawney Phil Is A Total Dumbass And It's Time We Stop Listening To That Clown
Anadolu Agency. Getty Images.Look at this idiot. Look at this dumb little bastard. Punxsutawney Phil, an absolute fraud. A dunce. A lying sack of shit.
This moron said we had at least 6 more weeks of winter ahead of us. Uhhhhh hey, Phil. How about you do yourself a favor and check the weather today, jackass. It's 65 degrees in Philadelphia and New York. That sound like winter to you? Does that sound like you should be bundled up in your coats and beanies and boots? Or does this look like some premium outdoor drinking weather to you?
Sure, the temps may drop over the weekend but they pick right back up next week. And that bozo Phil was over there trying to say that we'd still have 4 more weeks of freezing our nuts off. How he still has any credibility is beyond me.
And now I'm starting to think there's something more going on here. I mean he can't possibly be that dumb, right? He was SO off this year. I'm starting to think he's doing this shit on purpose. You guys know that episode of Curb when Larry accuses the weatherman of saying it's going to rain on days it's actually going to be really nice so he can have the golf course all to himself? I wouldn't put it past that piece of shit Punxsutawney Phil to tell everyone we have 6 more weeks of winter just to trick people into making some last minute vacations to escape the cold. Then a day like this comes around and he's got everything to himself. Or maybe it's his shady handler really calling the shots. I don't know. I suppose I just have to follow the money to get to the bottom of this. But in the meantime, today was a historic L for Punxsutawney Phil. He's as stupid as he is cute.