BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Scampered Away From His Shadow Like A Little Bitch And Locked Us Into 6 More Weeks Of Winter
BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Just Clipped Off Old Man Winter's Saggy Balls And Declared An Early Spring
Punxsutawney Phil Shoves His Shadow And Old Man Winter In A Locker By Declaring It Will Be An Early Spring