Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 53 - Man vs. Machine

-Credit card machines should not give you the option to swipe or insert your card if they’re just going to tell you “Card Must Be Inserted” after swiping it. I prefer inserting it anyway, but sometimes I like to swipe just so I can call the machines out on their hypocritical bullshit. 

-If Curious George was a cat, I feel like the series would have ended a lot sooner as the cat would have probably died due to its inquisitive nature. 

-It has always severely bothered me that the Grammys has separate categories for “Record Of The Year” vs. “Song Of The Year.” Some people tried to explain the technical differences to me, but I don’t care to hear them. Just want to complain. 

-I don’t understand how algorithms work, but I’d love to make one some day. And then I can just always go around saying, “Well, according to my algorithm....” It would be pretty sick. 

-I was at a pizzeria the other day and witnessed a woman trying to order two half slices of different types of pizza. Like half of a buffalo slice and then half of a regular slice. What an absolutely absurd request. The woman behind the counter said they only do full slices and I gave her a look as if to say “get a load of this weirdo” so she knew I was normal. Good little bonding moment. 

-I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “epic” in an unironic fashion. 

-It’s a pet peeve of mine when someone begins a text conversation with just my name. Waste of time. Just get right into the reason you’re texting me. 

-A food order getting delivered in an impossibly quick amount of time is life’s greatest magic trick. I had a chicken parm hero and side of penne alla vodka delivered in 11 minutes last week, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. 

-Sometimes I like to hit someone with a “God Bless You” even if it’s not following a sneeze. Just giving out a random blessing. We shouldn’t have to reserve them strictly for sneezes. 

Thank you for your time.