Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 78 - Insecurity Guards

-If you ever show someone a video, song, show, movie etc. that you like but they don’t, that can sometimes be awkward and embarrassing. Solution: shrug it off and say “oh you just don’t get it.” This is an excellent way to belittle somebody for their differing opinion. 

-I’ve been workshopping a joke or an idea about an “insecurity guard.” Instead of a security guard that physically protects you, an insecurity guard would emotionally protect you from your deep-seated insecurities. I don't know how I’m gonna land this plane exactly but I’ll figure it out. 

-Up until writing down that sentence, I always thought it was deep-seeded. Turns out it’s actually deep-seated. And I think that’s dumb.

-Here’s a story about me getting alpha’a by a 4-year-old. One day in Pre-K, we had bagels in the classroom. There were two lines. Buttered bagels and cream cheese bagels. Being a normal human being with functioning taste buds, I wanted cream cheese. My friend Oscar told me he was getting butter and that I should too. I told him that’s cool but I like cream cheese. So he could do his thing and I could do my thing. He was not having it. I don’t know if his family churned butter for a living or some shit, but he said, “If you don’t get butter on your bagel, I’m not gonna be your friend anymore.” So I got off that cream cheese line, ate a buttered bagel and hated every single bite of it. Thanks a lot, Oscar. 

-“I have two moods. Playing every song. Skipping every song. Literally no in between.” Is not something I would ever say myself being a self respecting 24-year-old male, but it is something I believe. I just personally wouldn’t phrase it like that unless I was running some cheesy fake Wiz Khalifa meme account. 

-Can we normalize not constantly using the term “Can we normalize.” 

-I have often wondered if the participants in Family Feud survey are told that it’s a Family Feud survey and how that would impact their answers. Well, I think I finally got my answer. I was watching an episode recently and the question was “name a famous bald person” and Steve Harvey was the overwhelming #1 answer. While he is a popular bald person, I think him being so overwhelmingly #1 is proof that the people knew it was a Family Feud survey and so they answered accordingly. Case closed. 

-Hearing that someone was born in 2001 makes them sound a lot younger than hearing that they are 19. If I hear someone’s birth year starts with a 2, I assume that they’re like 14.  

-Sometimes when I drink a beer while eating food, my jaw hurts. Like right by my ears. Really uncomfortable. Not sure why. Just wanted to let everyone know this is an annoying thing that happens and see if I’m not alone. 

Thank you for your time.