"A WSD Always Pays His Debts" - Tyrion Lannister - White Sox Dave
Here's a lil encore performance of myself, Dante and Donnie taking on Lake Michigan and the Chicago River on an E-Foil a few weeks back.
I know what you all are thinking "WSD it took you 3 years to do this you Ralph Wiggum looking FUCK, it doesn't count!" and to that I say "fuck you." Once you watch the video, you'll hear the tour guide describe common litter in the Chicago River. Shit like "Chicago Jellyfish" aka used condoms or "Chicago stingrays" aka syringes. That's not a body of water you want to jump into all willy nilly. I mean, just look at the signs that are on the walls that line the river:
Not to mention, Dave Matthews' tourbus dumped legit 800 pounds of human excrement into the river back in 2004. Not good! But guess what? I was just waiting for the perfectly opportune time to jump, and there wasn't a better time to do so than when Donnie visited two weeks back. I gotta tell you it was as abhorrent and disgusting as I thought it'd be. I have a growth starting to form on my dick, there's definitely a chance it's because I jumped in that vile body of water. That, or because I made love to an unsavory woman. One or the other.
HUGE shout out to Chicago SUP for the hospitality and teaching how to (kinda) e-foil. All of us could "surf", we just didn't have enough time in the day to get us to "fly" as pro e-foilers call it. Next time though.
If you are looking for a great time, hit up Ian at Chicago SUP and he'll set you and your crew up for a day on the water with some e-foils. All of their info can be found here. I am not embellishing when I say this, but in what's been a shitty summer because of Corona, spending the day on the water with Donnie and Dante was the best time I've had in a LONG time.
Info here:
