A Jersey Shore Basketball Carny Was Actually Banned From The Boardwalk For TEN Years After It Was Found Their Basketballs Were Overinflated

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NY Post- A Wildwood carny rigged games on the boardwalk last summer by overinflating basketballs, state officials said. Amusement operator Christine Strothers was bounced from the boardwalk for 10 years and slapped with a $15,500 fine for running the ruse, authorities announced this week.

Wannabe Steph Curry sharpshooters had virtually no chance at winning that stuffed teddy bear because the balls were inflated to three times their recommended pressure, NJ officials said. This caused the bloated basketballs to bounce erratically when they hit the rim or backboard.

I think we've all known that certain boardwalk games are for suckers, if not every single one of them. Knocking over those milk bottles is likely a physics impossibility that my dumb brain doesn't realize, the ring toss game is pretty much the physical version of playing the lottery, and Chris Kyle himself wouldn't have been able to shoot out every speck of that goddamn red star with the crooked pellet gun they give to you at the carnival. I'm not sure how they rigged big wheel, but considering the caliber of the prizes and the fact I've never seen someone win even one time, I know it must be.

Wayne Parry. Shutterstock Images.

But the basketball game has always been the most egregious offender. Oval rims, overinflated balls, hoops that are nowhere near regulation height to throw off your shot. In fact, the biggest shocker of this story is that there is actually a commission that monitors the legalized bamboozling of tourists at the boardwalk. I figured doling over your money to some carney reeking of cigs, cheap cologne, or both was an unwritten admission that you knew there was a 99% chance you were getting hoodwinnked, bamboozled, led astray, run amok, and flat out deceived.

Which is why I am calling bullshit on this whole report. I feel like the Jersey Shore Boardwalk commission, which is hilarious to even think about as I type it, found a patsy in Christine Strothers in order for this story to hit the New York tabloids so all us idiots would think that we actually have a decent chance to win a sweet prize while on vacation as the entire boardwalk watches our wet J go splash like Steph Curry. Unless those basketballs were inflated to the size of beach balls, there is no way you can single out one carny for being crooked, unless Christine just didn't grease the right official with someone else's hard earned money.

Actually after rereading the article, there is more to this story.

Even if the boardwalk hoopsters had somehow beaten the odds, they were still out of luck, officials said. The commission found Strothers displayed large plush animals that were not the actual prizes.

If this is true, Strothers should be thrown in jail for life. It's one thing to bait and switch someone with a LARGE prize that you have to trade your way up to winning on the easy games. It's quite another to have those big prizes not be the prize for a game you know you are almost definitely lighting your money on fire in order to play.

So here is a brief message to dads that spent their child's entire college fund trying to get their kid that giant knockoff Mickey Mouse doll that nobody would spend a penny on if they saw it in a Dollar Store:

Also since I know I won't be the only one forking over $20 bills on the boardwalk despite everything I just wrote, here is a handy YouTube guide at how to win certain boardwalk games so you too can impress your family, friends, date, or total stranger!