Let's All Be Grateful Boston University Basketball's Highly Effective Mask Policy

Say what you will about Boston University. And a lot can be said about a school that has produced alumni as diverse as Bill O'Reilly and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Howard Stern to Rosie O'Donnell, and Jenna Marbles to the Craigslist Killer to the Irish Rose (who got her graduate degree in Music there). I've even spoken there, to a class of undergrads studying sports and communication. It's a fine institution of higher learning that appeals to people across the spectrum. 

But whatever you think about BU, one thing you can't say is they don't follow the science. I mean,  look at this. How is a microscopic organism going to spread from player to player through this impenetrable shield?

You can post up against Holy Cross. You can give them the body and try to force them off their spot. You can hit the floor and wrestle them for a loose ball. But by god, as long as you've got a rectangle of cloth under your chin, it doesn't matter that they're wearing nothing. You are all protected. Terriers and Crusaders alike. BU's best and brightest minds know what it takes to keep you safe. That stupid virus knows better than to tangle with the world class epidemiologists in the BU Athletic Department. 

It's the same principle that says you can share a huddle with 10 other guys. Share a field with 21 other guys, plus officials. Grapple with them, fight with them, exchange a dozen different bodily fluids with them for three hours. But when you sit on the bench with them in between, strap a mask under your nose and that crafty little microbe won't know which was is up. 

It's not just virtue signaling. It's being socially responsible. And the millions who will be saved through this empty and futile gesture should be grateful to them for being on the cutting edge of this. And to think, until now I thought the only small, pretentious, self-important thing that's only effect for a few seconds to ever come out of BU Basketball was Rick Pitino. Thanks, academia!