Mike Mayock Got In Front Of Reporters And Said Antonio Brown Is STILL Not Showing Up To Raiders Camp Because Of His Helmet Issue

You know a team is pissed off when not only does their GM make an actual statement about a player to a gaggle of reporters during training camp, but the team’s official Twitter account immediately tweets it out at a time when they want as few distractions as possible. I bet Mike Mayock misses the days of being in the air conditioned NFL Network studios talking about which franchises were absolute shitshows and breaking down college game film before the draft instead of answering questions about where his team’s best and highest-paid player is less than a month before the season while his pumpkin-pie haircutted freak of an owner texts him for updates at PF Changs. And based on last night’s tweets, I don’t see things changing between AB and the NFL any time soon.

Everyone had the same take about Antonio Brown and the Raiders being a match made in heaven like your biggest degenerate friend and the craziest girl at the bar. They aren’t going to be together for a long time, but it will be a good time for everyone watching it go down in flames. But I don’t think anybody, despite the long-running fucked up history of the Raiders or recent fucked up history of Antonio Brown’s actions, saw the relationship hitting Threat Level Midnight five months after the trade and subsequent huge contract extension. However, if you actually filled in your 2019 Raiders Mad Libs book with:

Antonio Brown will disappear from training camp because he is mad about not being able to use his old helmet.

congratulations because I think you just earned your way to Mike Mayock’s old analyst job at NFL Network.

P.S. I had a brief moment of clarity while writing this blog that maybe this helmet shit is just Antonio Brown’s way of skipping training camp like every vet dreams of doing. Since Brown is new to the team and his new contract prevented him from doing the passive-aggressive holdout move, AB just used some little known change in NFL policy as a reason to skip running in the heat and getting yelled at by Jon Gruden for not running Spider 2 Y Banana crisp enough as having Hard Knocks cameras follow his every move. Or maybe I’m giving the guy who dyed his mustache gold, bitched his way out of Pittsburgh, and named himself Mr. Big Chest a little too much credit. Or maybe I’m not giving AB nearly enough credit and this is all a ratings grab for HBO. Congratulations Antonio Brown, you have officially broken my brain with your brain. Regardless of the reason, Hard Knocks better bring the thunder this week instead of pussyfooting around the biggest story in football yet again.