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The Mets Sign Juan Soto To A 15 Year, $765 MILLION Contract, Which Is The Largest Deal In The History Of Professional Sports

Holy fucking shit, it actually happened. The Mets just added a future Hall of Famer that is about to hit his prime to a team that just made it to the NLCS with a core in its prime along with young pieces that have huge potential. Sure it was for a sum of money that my simple brain can’t compute. But that was always going to be the case anyway. Still, seeing those numbers laid out as salary for a baseball blows my mind unlike anything since A-Rod signed his deal with the Rangers for HALF A BILLION DOLLARS LESS.

Most importantly, it’s over. Thank God it’s over. I haven’t been on Twitter as much as I have over the last few weeks since the app was actually good about 10 years ago and my brain may never recover. No more reports that say the same old bullshit, no more rumors from random accounts claiming to know family members or friends involved in negotiations, and no more weirdo cat fights on the radio.

It got to the point where I was imagining Passan’s tweet with different team names depending on how happy/sad I was feeling at the time, which is no way to spend a life. Did I also reach a point where I convinced myself the Mets were better off missing out on Soto because of the amount of money that was being offered for 1/25th of a baseball team? Maybe, maybe not, maybe fuck yourself. Thankfully that won’t happen since it is all over and I will never give LeBron shit for doing The Decision ever again, because a scheduled announcement on TV made all this soooooo much more bearable.

Anyway, I didn’t think I’d ever see the day where the Mets outbid the Yankees on one of their superstar free agents. Yet here we are and it’s all possible because of one beautiful man.

NOW HIT HIS MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC AND LET STEARNS FILL OUT THE REST OF THIS ROSTER WITH WHATEVER MONEY IS IN THE BUDGET, IF THE METS EVEN HAVE ONE!!!!

We are live on We Gotta Believe breaking down this beautiful (and to be honest very expensive) miracle from Stevie Claus. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!!