I Am Sad To Inform You, Larry II Has Passed Away
It’s true, our sweet Gambling Goldfish has died. I was on Barstool Radio today when Hank stormed in and said he had urgent news, my mind began racing, thinking about what it could be and the last thing I expected was what he said, Larry II is dead. I rushed out to the tank to try to save him but it was too late, he had been dead for minutes if not hours.
So I say this to you with a heavy heart, please remember the good times not the bad. Remember all the gambling picks he won, or the time I tried to feed him milk, or when PFT let him get some air, or the time we fed him Russell Wilson’s concussion water, or when he picked a new football team for Riggs, or when Ria almost killed him, or that other time Ria almost killed him, or when Stu Feiner met him and they became best friends. Remember those times, the good times. And remember that Larry II is survived by his two frogs, Stephen A and Skip. They’ll now be raised in a parent less fish tank, we’ll do our best to keep on going.
I leave you with this. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. RIP In Peace our sweet Fish. We will see Larry II again in this life* or the next.
 
*Depending on whether or not science is able to someday reanimate his frozen body.
PS
Probably Should Buy A Shirt. Larry II would want you to.