I Am Officially A Crocs Guy (BONUS: The First Ever Barstool Crocs Competition)

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They say there are three important parts of a man's life: When he becomes a husband, when he becomes a father, and when he becomes a Crocs guy. The order those events happen may come in a different order for different people, but as a mad titan once said "Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same".

I actually was on the fence about becoming a Crocs guy because of the connotation that comes with wearing Crocs. Then I realized I already fit all the stereotypes in that connotation so I might as well jump in with two feet (sweet shoes pun, Clem). So we decided to have the first ever Barstool Crocs Competition on The Podfathers.

I've had these colorful clogs for less than 72 hours and I love them more than my children. I also have started loading them up with charms because I'm too big of a pussy for tattoos and my laptop is already jam packed with stickers. Try to have a more impressive foursome on your feet than Baby Yoda, Super Mario, a football, and the American flag. You can't. 

I would never suggest anybody else become a Crocs guy, mainly because #nofreeads. But I am very happy and comfortable embracing dad's life in the Casa de Clem as well as wearing the crown for clearly having the best set of Crocs of The Podfathers.

Also on the podcast:

- We discuss that nerdy bitch Arthur The Aardvark's run on PBS ending after 25 years

- Wonder why the hell Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis announced they hardly bathe themselves or their kids

- Completely support Ice T's wife Coco still breastfeeding their 5-year-old daughter, partially in fear of getting Twitter murdered by Mr. Ice like Chaps did

- Toss around the idea of going to a restaurant dressed as giant babies with diapers on (Never though I'd write that sentence)

- Answer mailbag questions about friends trying to call dibs on kids names and tips for what to expect before a vasectomy

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