Apparently I Bought My Godson The Worst Gift Of All Time

I’ve gone on record a gazillion times and said that I don’t want kids. Not only am I way too selfish to have another human being depend on me, I’m pretty sure I’d just be bad at it. I’m the world’s best dog mom though. Kid mom? Nah. Plus, I know that I’m a MUCH better aunt than a mom.

Shout out self awareness.

Anyway, two of my best friends got married soon after we graduated from college and decided to procreate. Because their son was the first of our friend group, he gets SPOILED. Plus as my godson, he deserves the best. I’m also a very competitive person, so I refused to be out gifted early in his life.

Sneakers, network t-shirts, unlimited golf balls (he’s a big golf guy)… etc. I also got to take him on Kyle Field for the first time when I was working for ESPN covering an A&M football game.

That’s a big deal for Aggies (ya, ya we’re weird). Again, shout out me for being the best aunt of all time.

So what did I do when he turned one?

Well I decided to get him a puppy, of course.

I mean who doesn’t love puppies? Like I said, I’m the best dog mom of all time and my god son LOVED being around my dog. It made complete sense to me.

In retrospect, it was a horrendously bad idea. (I also thought I did it for his second birthday. Turns out it was for his first birthday. I’m an even bigger asshole than I thought.) I told Kevin the story off-air last week and of course we brought it to CCK so he could publicly shame me for being worst friend on the planet. The conversation starts around the 1:16:00 mark.

I asked his dad (who for the record has been one of my best friends since 2006) to call in to give his account of the story…

Don’t worry, he’s just being dramatic. I’m sure they sent him to a farm where he could run and run and run. But you definitely want to hear how it all played out on this week’s “More Fire.”

By the way, thanks to everybody who has been tuning in to CCK Mondays. We’ve created a monster.