The Haters Said We Wouldn't Tailgate With Someone Between Our Legs

This week, Chaps told us about a stoolie over in England who made the best of a terrible traffic jam by whipping up an impromptu tailgate on the highway. It was a move that undoubtedly made the crappy experience better, but an improper place to grill out nonetheless.

That got us thinking… what are some other inappropriate places we’d secretly love to light the charcoals & roast some dogs?

The first place that came to mind for me was the gyno (a place where ladies get their vaginas checked out. ewwWwWWwwWwww!) But yeah, it can be a little awkward when they’re pokin’ around above your gas grill. Do I look at the ceiling? Do I make small talk? Light a cigarette? I just wish I could be occupied with something, like getting the perfect caramelized, crispy glaze on a chicken leg.

Now that my perfect Uber rating is gone (thanks to a 2am backseat WaWa meatball sub gone wrong) I wouldn’t mind multitasking on my trips with a little cookout either. Just open up my suitcase grill, quietly heat it up, & by the time they go to stop me I’m passing a hearty brisket up front. Next thing you know, we’re both fat & happy & at the destination. Hard to argue with that.

To hear the rest of my picks, along with some problematic ones from Chaps, check out Hi Haters on iTunes. We’re cooking up some good stuff over there.