An Guy In Iowa Claims His Dog Shot Him While They Were Roughhousing

FORT DODGE, Iowa (AP) — With best friends like these, who needs enemies? An Iowa man says his dog inadvertently shot him while they were roughhousing Wednesday. Fifty-one-year-old Richard Remme, of Fort Dodge, told police he was playing with his dog, Balew, on the couch and tossed the dog off his lap. He says when the pit bull-Labrador mix bounded back up, he must have disabled the safety on the gun in his belly band and stepped on the trigger. The gun fired, striking one of Remme’s legs. 

TOUGH spot for your boy here. Real tough spot. The story takes the two things I love most in this world (Iowa and dogs) and pits them against each other. Both things have brought me lots of joy over the years. Iowa is my home. I lived there for 27 years and it was great. On the other hand, dogs have always made every situation better. So it’s a tough choice.

I choose dogs. The human was wrong in this situation. That’s just the way it’s gotta be. I love Iowa and all my Iowans but, at the end of the day, it’s a human being. Humans have historically been assholes. Dogs have historically been the nicest creatures ever. Not to mention the story seems realllllllly fishy. The dog accidentally turned the safety off and pulled the trigger of a gun while they were roughhousing? WHAT?! Yeah that for sure didn’t happen pal. This dude was probably cleaning the gun, Lil Wayne’d himself and is too embarrassed to admit it. So he cooked up this crazy story where THE DOG shot him. Which is actually more embarrassing than just accidentally shooting yourself.

Also, this is a wild part of the article

Remme told The Messenger newspaper that Balew is a “big wuss” and lay down beside him and cried because he thought he had done something wrong.

Hey asshole, that’s called empathy/sympathy/the dog feeling bad about what happened. Try it some time.