Gmail Is Getting Way Too Cocky With Their Auto-Responses For My Liking
I know this isn’t a brand new feature or anything but over the last few months you’ve probably noticed that Gmail now has the ability to answer emails for you. It started off as a few one-word responses like “Sure” and “No” and “Thanks”. But over time, Gmail’s auto responses have evolved. They pick up your style of speaking and they adapt. Gmail now knows exactly what you’re going to say before you even know what you’re going to say. And it’s becoming an issue.
Because we’re getting to the point now where I have to respond to emails with a whole bunch of dumb shit just to prove a point to Google that they don’t own my brain. I’m sick and tired of opening emails, about to type out a response only to see the auto-responses like and being like “mother fricker, that’s word-for-word what I was about to type out. Can’t use that shit anymore because then the computers win”. And that’s not even a humble brag about receiving a bunch of emails every day. Not a big deal or anything but I get at least 10-15 and that’s not even including the Barstool Random Thoughts newsletter. I just feel like my brain is being violated and I’m not going to sit around and take it anyway.
Just frig off, Google. Every time you think I’m going to zig, I am zagging until I can’t zag no more. I would rather die than ever use one of your shitty auto responses. And another thing for you–stop using so many goddamn explanation points. I don’t know if this is a thing in regular office settings or not but Gmail is throwing around exclamation points like they’re going out of style. Sorry but I put a little too much stock in the exclamation point to just be throwing it around all willy nilly. I like to save those shits for when I actually need them. Not to tell my grandma “Thanks!” when she emails me links from Facebook. Get real.