The 5 Players Brad Marchand Wishes He Could Have Licked While He Still Had The Chance
By now I’m sure that everybody has seen Brad Marchand say that he needs to take a look at himself in the mirror and knock that shit off when it comes to licking dudes out there on the ice. First off, here’s a live look in at Marchand looking himself in the mirror.
Second off, I’m actually kind of sad that it appears this era is coming to an end. As much of a rat and pain in the ass as Brad Marchand is, at least he’s entertaining. He keeps everything exciting and you never know what you’re going to get out of him. But alas, all great things must come to an end at some point or another and it appears that Brad Marchand’s facial licking days are behind him. It’s a shame but it’s just a part of life sometimes.
While Brad Marchand’s licking career was quite the illustrious one, I’m sure he still has a few names on his “Ones Who Got Away” list. Here are the top 5.
5. Daniel Sedin
If anything just to apologize for this moment. No hard feelings and all that jazz. I mean you have to imagine that Daniel Sedin has been feeling a little down on himself lately, right? He sees Brad Marchand licking dudes left and right to try to get under their skin, meanwhile his face was used as a personal punching bag. Not very sensual at all. Daniel Sedin deserves to know that it wasn’t his fault.
4. Brent Burns
He’s got one of the most iconic faces in the game today. When you’re a competitor like Brad Marchand, you want to challenge yourself each and every day to be the best you possibly can be. You’re not looking to cut corners and take the easy way out. So landing a lick on Burnzie is going to be a challenge and I’m sure that Brad Marchand wishes he could have taken up that challenge before he had to change his ways.
3. Ryan Getzlaf (only if his helmet is off)
This one obviously comes with that stipulation. But imagine if Brad Marchand found himself out on the ice at the same time as Getzlaf without a bucket on? You think he’d be able to contain himself around that bald headed son of a bitch? For sure not. I don’t think anybody could.
2. Phil Kessel
Rumor has it that Phil the Thrill literally sweats out nacho cheese. It would be a delicious little mid-game treat for Marchand to enjoy. And something about Phil’s personality tells me that he’d just go along with it. A win-win for everybody.
1. Ken Hitchcock
Okay, okay. I know that the headline reads “5 Players…” and Ken Hitchcock isn’t technically a player. But c’mon. Who wouldn’t want to get a quick lick on Kenny Hitch looking like a snack? Hitch had an incredible career in the NHL. Had over 800 career wins, brought every organization he coached with to the Stanley Cup Playoffs and won a Stanley Cup with Dallas. Only thing missing was a lick from Brad Marchand. Just a damn shame that we never got to see it happen.