A South Carolina High School Wants To Fine Family Members $1000 For Cheering At Their Kids Graduation
(Source)- In a recent assembly, an administrator at Greenville High told students that family members could be fined $1,030 for yelling at seniors’ upcoming graduation at Bon Secours Wellness Arena. A slide shown at that assembly stated, “Since graduation is a dignified and solemn occasion, graduating seniors and their guests should behave appropriately. Please ask your guests not to call out, cheer, whistle, or applaud during the reading of names and presentation of diplomas. “The Citation for Family Members yelling out is $1,030.”
District officials have said, however, that school administrators will not actually cite family members of graduates for cheering. “It is not the district’s nor Greenville High School’s policy to cite parents,” said Greenville County Schools spokeswoman Beth Brotherton. “This (Greenville High) slide was created to inform students that because graduation is a ‘publicly sanctioned event’ and is held at the Bon Secours Wellness Arena, it is under the jurisdiction of the Greenville Police Department. “Greenville Police have the authority to cite and/or fine people in the audience who create a disturbance or disruption.” Sgt. Johnathan Bragg, spokesman for the Greenville Police Department, said police have not and will not ticket family members merely for cheering, whistling or applauding during the reading of names. “Screaming somebody’s name or congratulating them, that’s not a police matter,” Bragg said. “We would only get involved when it’s actually a criminal matter. As far as charging someone for yelling, we have not done that.”
Look at the administration of Greenville High acting all high and mighty about the shred of power they have in their lives. News flash you dickheads. Nobody in the world wants to go to graduations. Not the graduates, not the faculty, and certainly not the family members or friends. Nobody gives a fuck about the local businessman “Guest Speaker” that says to work hard and your future will be bright or wants hear a 18-year-old valedictorian’s view of life despite never living in the real world. Oh yeah and graduations somehow always occur on either the hottest, most humid day of the year or during a monsoon that causes a ton of strangers to be crammed into a gym.
The reason people cheer for their graduate is because hearing a name they know and give a shit about is the lone bright spot of 3+ hours of nonsense. You dragged that likely lazy asshole through some tough times and should celebrate them finally crossing the finish line and hopefully getting out of your house ASAP. It also lets everyone know which graduates have people that love them and which graduates are assholes that are hated by their own family and/or have no friends. School is a popularity contest from Day 1. Why shouldn’t that be the case at graduation? If anything, these schools should be supporting some cheering to keep people awake. Tailgating should be allowed in the parking lot, air horns should be handed out with the programs, and the kid that gets the loudest cheers should win $1,030. Not the other way around. I hope these parents scream their dicks off and stunt all over the administration’s face while the police should fine the people that came up with this fine for trying to make up fines. That has to be against the law, right? Like could Portnoy just start fining people at HQ $1000 because they were too loud? Hell no.
Adding the extra $30 to a $1000 fine is also such a dickhead move by these pencil pushing geeks. Either let people cheer or cancel graduations altogether. I’d honestly prefer the latter because I have two kids that will (hopefully) be graduating from elementary, middle, and high school in the future. My wife and I are still holding out hope that college doesn’t matter in 15-18 years because that shit is literally going to be the most expensive thing on the planet unless somebody somehow makes it free. The mere thought of having to go to at least a half dozen graduations made my eyes glaze over.
And since we are talking graduations, I figured it was time to post the most accurate meme ever created.
*I admit that I hated graduations before I started writing this blog, but the Mets batting out of order really brought the hate out. But still, fuck graduations because they suck and because that meme is the truest thing ever internetted.