Very Drunk Man Gets Horny And Tries To Have Sex With a Car's Tailpipe
NY Post
NEWTON, Kan. — Authorities say an extremely intoxicated man who was attempting to have sex with the tailpipe of a car in central Kansas was subdued with a stun gun after he refused to stop.
Newton Lt. Scott Powell says the 24-year-old was taken to an emergency room Tuesday because of his life-threateningly high .35 blood alcohol level and possible drug use.
Powell says the man had a possible head injury and “was completely oblivious to everyone standing around and telling him to stop.” Powell says the man is expected to be released from the hospital Thursday.
We’ve all been there. You stumble out of a bar late at night. Your friends go home and you are left with three options. Call it a night, hit up that girl you’ve wanted to hookup with but have been too scared to pursue, or find an abandoned car and see if it’s trying to have some fun. I usually go for option one because I’m lazy and hate effort more than anything. Occasionally I’ll attempt option 2, but it generally leads to me waking up the next morning, scanning through my texts and regretting everything imaginable. I’ve yet to dabble into option 3, but it appears it’s on the illegal side of the law. Just going to write that down on my phone as a reminder, “Do not have sex with car’s tailpipes in public even if you’re on a cold streak.” This guy was so into the sex too that cops had to taser him because he refused to stop inserting into the pipe. Looks like this car was reciprocating at least, which you have to appreciate.
If there’s anyone that can relate here it’s J.R. Smith
Just two guys trying to get the pipe, what can ya say?
One thing to note here was this man’s BAC (blood alcohol content for those scoring at home). It was .35!!!! The legal limit is .08. This man was FIVE TIMES the legal limit. How is he alive? That seems like a situation you should be a dead person. In fact it is a situation you should be a dead person unless you’re a child and weigh less than 100 pounds.
Thankfully this guy is alive and got to chase his dream of having sex with a car. To each their own.