Do Not Leave Your Girl Around Phildelphia's Overwatch Team
The Philly sports scene is filled with a ton of young talent. Everybody knows that. Which is great for the city because the teams look like they’re all lined up for a decade of domination. But the one group of people who probably aren’t too thrilled with this youthful resurgence are the single dudes in Philly. Why is that? Well because think about who these guys have to compete against. You think about the squad the young Flyers put out there. You have Konecny, Ivan Provorov, Robert Hagg, Nolan Patrick. They’re all prettier and make more money than you so good luck going up against them at a bar. From the Sixers, anytime Joel Embiid is out for Center City Sips, single dudes might as well just pack up their shit and go home unless they offer to get a better angle of Embiid for a girl’s Instagram Story. The Phillies have Hoskins, Kingery and Nola. All 25 or younger. And then the Eagles are weird since they’re all about Jesus and everything but you’ll still catch those guys out as well. So yeah, obviously there is a ton of competition for a young, single dude in the City of Champions. But just when you thought you’ve seen all the competition you have to go up against, here comes this wrecking ball of a crew.
We’ve seen Buff Cat before. We’ve seen what SuperFran looks like. Well here we have Robbie Roids.
You leave Robbie Fox with One Man Thrillride for a week or so and this is the man you get back in return.
Wait. Hold up. Let’s enhance this image just a little closer…
Slightly startling. But the mysterious type is what drives the ladies crazy.
Pretty sure this guy has at least 5 identical twins and they all write for Deadspin.
“Didn’t know that was your girl when she gave me top” – Post Malone” – This kid
The goddamn Philadelphia Fusion, man. Out there cuckin’ n00bz since 2017.
And while they’re stealing everyone’s girls here in Philly, they’re also putting an absolute beatdown on Dallas’ sorry ass squad on the sticks.
Yo, Dallas. Take that weak shit and get it the fuck outta here. Eagles win the Super Bowl. David Akers rips out your soul at the draft. And then the Philadelphia Fusion curb stomp the Fuel in some Overwatch action. We own your city and there’s nothing you can do about it.