I Am Very Thankful Peter Chernin Wasn’t Around In 2015

Handsome Hank4/30/2018 7:30 PM

Just wanted to give a quick shoutout/h/t/hat tip to the big man Peter Chernin and the boys at Chernin group for not investing in Barstool until late 2016. Deke Zukker AKA barstool quotes posted this on twitter over the weekend and it took me on a trip down memory lane, back to the Milton office, squirrel internet days of 2015. It also reminded me how absolutely mortified I was that there was even a possibility I was going to have participate in a bachelor style show where girls were “competing” to win my affection, considering I was having a hard enough time getting girls to talk to me as it was. New age stoolies may not remember this era so I am going to set the scene a little bit. (for the record this is my scale of “stoolie”)

– Newspaper days – April 2013 AKA The manhunt AKA when BC got hired full time = OG stoolies
– April 2013 – September 2016 = Stoolies
– 2016 – present day = New age stoolies

It was late April 2015, The Rockets had just fired their social media intern for tweeting about murdering a horse in emoji form,

KFC declared he was officially out on apologizing…

and our fearless leader had just returned from a romantic get away in beautiful Italia.

As for me, I was a young, dumb, 21 year old kid who had more or less been told by Dave that I was being kept around not because I was particularly good at my job but more because it was good, funny content whenever I fucked something up and he got to air me out publicly. This meant that anything and everything Dave wanted me to do I did, as long as it made sense financially.

So naturally when he walked in the office after coming back from Italia with the idea of doing a Bachelor style show centered around me I told him it would be way to expensive and logistically impossible unless we got someone to sponsor it. I also repeatedly tried to convey that it might be hard to actually find girls who wanted to do the show considering girls who sign up for the Bachelor sign up to be on national TV and potentially win the love of a certified stud and girls who signed up for this show would be subjected the the shitshow nature of a barstool production and would be vying to “win” the love of a chinless, broke, skinny fat sloth that lived in a bedroom with no windows. Those concerns were met with deaf ears though as Dave was hellbent on making this Bachelor idea come to life, no matter how he had to make it happen. That night it was discussed on the rundown –

and after sleeping on it Dave came in the next day and wrote this blog

From 2015 –

So I talked about this idea we’ve had floating around the office for awhile on the Rundown yesterday. To do a Barstool version of the Bachelor featuring Hank. We’d rent a house in Newport or Nantucket, fill it with girls who want to date Hank and make a show out of it complete with rose ceremonies and shit. I think it would be hilarious. Unfortunately to do it right we’d need a professional camera crew and it would cost a minimum of 55K. That’s just production cost. My first thought was to charge people 10 bucks for the entire show. So like 7 shows for 10 dollars. I have no idea how many pay for it to be honest, but then a reader sent in a way better idea that frankly I can’t believe we didn’t already come up with already. To create a Gofundme account for it. Everybody is doing it so why not us. Duh. We need to raise 55K. If we get it we do the show. If not everybody gets their money back. No harm no foul. But this has to happen.

Thankfully the gofund me only raised a few thousand dollars and no company jumped at the opportunity to sponsor the series (stunning I know) and eventually the idea got lost in the shuffle of other stuff going on and forgotten about. I am just incredibly happy and thankful that Daves big brain thought of this in April 2015 and not April 2016 because by April 2016 we had the backing of the BSDATCF Peter Chernin and a 50K project would have been greenlit in 2 seconds. So thank you @Peter and co. for saving me from the humiliation of having my horrific dating and flirting/dating techniques aired out to the world and live on the internet for the rest of eternity.

PS – Now that we’re on the topic, which current 23 and under BSS employee do stoolies think would make for the funniest bachelor?

Tommy Smokes