RedTube Is Offering A Week Of Free Premium Porn If You Take Shorter Showers For Earth Day

Mashable- In honor of Earth Day, RedTube is giving out a week of free porn. But there’s a catch: You have to save water first. Access to clean water is something that many of us take for granted. According to the United Nation’s 2018 World Water Development Report, more than 2 billion people don’t have access to safe drinking water, and another billion are expected to lack clean water by 2050 because they live in “potentially severely water-scarce areas.” Twenty percent of the global population’s access to clean water will be limited by 2050 because of contaminated supplies in flood-prone areas. The thirst is real. Literally. And saving water isn’t easy — although awareness campaigns like World Water Day outline big-picture solutions, it’s difficult to commit to individual efforts to conserve water. What better motivation is there to save water than a free week of premium porn? RedTube hopes to encourage people to think about the water crisis with its “Save Water Challenge.” An app available on Google Play — and out soon on iOS — tracks the length of your daily showers. The shorter the shower, the more points you’ll get.

Thanks but no thanks, RedTube. I’ll stick with the billions and billions of hours of already-free porn that exists on the internet and keep taking normal showers. I’m all for saving the Earth but don’t mess with my showers. Taking a shower is one of the times throughout the day when I’m truly happy. Showers are fantastic. I’ll never take showering for granted. As my good friend Young Pageviews learned the hard way the other day, you don’t realize how awesome showers are until you can’t take one. Few things are more important than the morning shower. I’m lost without it. And now RedTube is telling me to shorten mine so I can watch free porn for a week? I already watch free porn! I watch a ton of it! I’m borderline addicted to it!

I can’t even fathom paying for premium porn. I’ve never understood people who do that. It seems insane. Never once have I been jerking off and thought to myself, “I wish this porn was higher quality.” Mostly because I don’t know what the higher quality can possibly be. What am I missing? Does the girl in the video turn into a hologram and actually have sex with you? That’s what would need to happen for me to pay for premium porn. And even then I’d be like, “My hand isn’t so bad.” Cause there is a limitless amount of people sucking and fucking on the internet. It’s literally limitless. Like the universe, the amount of porn on the internet is always expanding. I couldn’t watch all the porn on the internet if I had 500 lifetimes or 5,000 lifetimes. And then people go and pay for it? What a bunch of suckers! Maybe my taste in porn stinks. Maybe I’m just a simpleton. Maybe the porn behind a paywall is truly mind blowing. There has to be something to it. But no, I will not be cutting my showers short.