Girl Enjoys Spring Break Concert By Getting On Stage In A Bikini And Shaving Her Head To The Beat

Spring break is not like it used to be. Ten years ago, this lady would’ve been able to black out and shave her head on stage and that would’ve been the end of it. The only risk of embarrassment came from Jenny McCarthy and the MTV camera crew. It was a simpler time. Now you can’t do anything without it being uploaded to the internet solely for the amusement of strangers.

Truth be told I never went on Spring Break in college. I stayed in cold, dead Massachusetts and drank in my friend’s basement like a real class act. I would’ve liked to have gone but it made me too anxious. Too many unknowns. And that was in 2011 before everything was being filmed. I would NEVER go in 2018. I’d get on stage for a wet T-shirt contest and next thing I know my titties would be all over the internet. Can’t have that.

I’m trying to think of what kind of drug would prompt a person to shave their head on stage and the only thing that comes to mind is the legal, more powerful alternative to everything: alcohol. Judging from how hard she’s feeling the music I’d say she had around twenty-five Bud Lights. That or she mainlined flakka, which is huge in Florida. If this was a guy we’d call him a #Brad but it’s a girl so we should call her a #Debra. Hopefully her parents don’t read Barstool otherwise she’s going to have a tough time explaining herself.

#NeverForget