Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Tried To Blow Up His Neighbor's Chickens With A Homemade Whiskey Bomb Over A BB Gun Dispute?

FORT PIERCE — A man who crafted a bomb inside a whiskey bottle and blew it up in another man’s backyard was charged with a crime Wednesday, investigators said. Scott Frederick Wegener, 55, of the 500 block of Wendell Road, was charged with possession or discharge of a destructive device. An anonymous caller Wednesday warned Wegener had detonated an improvised explosive device and was threatening it again, according to Wegener’s arrest affidavit. The caller said Wegener, nicknamed “Spider,” was in a dispute with someone over the theft of a BB gun and had offered to pay a friend to crawl under the man’s home to plant an IED. Investigators from the St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office, Fort Pierce Police Department, FBI and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, all responded to Wegener’s home Wednesday.

Headline of The Year candidate right here. And yes, it happened in Florida but you already knew that. Imagine if the internet didn’t exist. Most of us would’ve never known about this story. We would’ve gone our entire lives, cradle to the grave (shout out DMX), and never known about the man who threw a homemade whiskey bomb at a chicken coop over a dispute about a BB gun. I know there’s some bad-to-very-bad things that happen because of the internet. There are bad things about the internet that we don’t even know about yet. Staring at the internet on our phones all day every day is more than likely giving us brain tumors. No doubt about it. BUT BUT BUT BUT I’m okay with that as long as I get to read about stories like this. You simply can’t put a price on two neighbors armed with explosives going at each other.

I’d also like a documentary crew to head down to Fort Pierce, Florida ASAP and cover this story in-depth. There’s part of the article that says one guy paid a friend to crawl under the other guy’s house to plant an IED. These dudes aren’t fucking around. This is serious shit. It’s passed the point of just neighbor’s arguing. When you’ve got whiskey bombs and IEDs getting tossed around, that’s a story I wanna know more about.