Kirk Cousins Is In Minnesota, And Has Been Offered 3 Years, $84 Million

Two things first:

1) Every hack reporter on Twitter is trying to break “Kirk Cousins to the Vikings” first. Like this guy:

I had never heard of him until today, but guess what:

Based on his profile picture though, I’m glad I can’t be subjected to his tweets.

But there are people like him who just throw “NFL” after their name to try and sound as important as Schefter or Rapoport, and then tweet stuff that everyone pretty much considers a lock, without it being confirmed. He wants to be an insider so badly, but everyone knows nothing is a lock until one of the big two, Adam or Ian, reports it. I mean I could fuck around and tweet “sources tell me Kirk Cousins plans to sign with the Vikings” are not be wrong, because I have a friend who got a DM from a guy of a friend who knows Kirk’s financial planner, but you don’t see me pumping my chest about it.

2) It would be wild at this point if Kirk didn’t sign in Minnesota. They have every piece besides a QB. And they are taking him to their fancy shmancy new facilities.

Throw the dude a Starter jacket and play Creed over the loudspeaker when he walks in and he’ll sign quicker than he can foster a puppy in church.

I’m glad out of every team, my Vikings are gonna sign him up. Cousins to Diggs and Thielen in that beautiful Vikings stadium, I can’t wait.