If I Did Steal A Copy Of "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" From A Blockbuster in 1999, Here's How I Would Have Done It.

Hypothetically speaking, if I did steal a copy of the critically acclaimed film “The Lost World: Jurassic Park” from my local video rental store back in 1999, here’s how it would’ve went down.

I would have been with my father. I was too young to be driving by myself. We would have driven to Blockbuster on a Friday night, because that is what we always did when my brother and I were kids. It might have even been raining. Yeah. Rainy nights were the perfect nights to head over to Blockbuster and pick up a movie or two that you haven’t seen.

Hypothetically speaking, I loved the candy they sold by the registers and the huge selection of VHS tapes and PS1 games I could rent. Butterfingers, Twix, Twizzlers, Whoppers; They had it all. I think I rented the same copy of “Twisted Metal” for the original Playstation at least 10 times as a child. I don’t know if anyone remembers that game but it was essentially a demolition derby and you got to choose from all these different car “characters” and each one had different weapons and ways to destroy your opponent. It was super duper lit. The clown car was scary though.

Walking into that place was always the absolute best. Even the drive over filled my young soul with an excessive amount of excitement. I don’t recall the exact scent, but my local Blockbuster had a unique smell to it. Regardless, as soon as you opened those doors and took a big sniff, you knew it was movie time.

So again, I imagine if I arrived at Blockbuster with my dad on that rainy Friday night, it was because we were on the prowl for a movie to watch. Maybe we loved movies. Again, this is all hypothetical.

So now 7 year old me is roaming Blockbuster in search of something to watch with my dad. I think my mom might’ve been out of town. I don’t recall. If I was in Blockbuster, I would’ve searched and searched until I found the perfect movie. I know– I mean I bet I knew where all the good movies are and I probably went right towards ’em. Perhaps I had a specific film on my mind. Something that mom wouldn’t let me watch normally.

Eventually, I would have seen it. “The Lost World: Jurassic Park” had one of the most iconic VHS covers of all-time.

I can see it vividly even now, the hologram shining atop the row of VHS cassettes, stacked and organized meticulously by the hard working Blockbuster staff. The famous red “Jurassic Park” logo immediately demanded my attention.

If I was at Blockbuster on this fateful night, I would have wanted this VHS. It was 1999, and Jurassic Park was HOT. I was 7, and hypothetically speaking, I really wanted to add this movie to my personal collection. I already owned the original, and although it scared the shit out of me, I enjoyed telling my fellow 2nd graders that I liked to watch Jurassic Park and I didn’t even need the comfort of my mother to get through it without crying. I ain’t afraid of no T-Rex. That last part may be a lie, but again, this is all hypothetical.

If I saw the VHS sitting there, I might have taken it. I might have stuffed it under my Old Navy sweatshirt that my mom had recently bought me from Kohls. Back in the day, I don’t really think Blockbuster’s security system was perfected yet. I can’t recall exactly what their setup was, but I imagine I would’ve been able to walk right out of there, behind my father who had already rented another movie.

The thing about renting movies, or anything really, is you ultimately have to give them back. It’s a heart breaking experience for a child. When you’re young, you can really devour a movie, watching it over and over until you get your fix. I used to watch Space Jam in my basement over and over, pretending I was a young Michael Jordan. I’m sure plenty of others my age can relate.

Hypothetically speaking, I think it’s fair to say that if I found myself in this situation, I wouldn’t have been satisfied with just RENTING “The Lost World: Jurassic Park”. I needed to make it mine. So I took it. I told my dad about what I did on the car ride home out of guilt. He was disappointed, but we kept the movie. Hypothetically speaking, we kept the movie and watched it a lot. It was a great film. You should check it out if you haven’t seen it.

So that is how I would have stolen a copy of “The Lost World: Jurassic Park” from a Blockbuster in Mt. Kisco in 1999, hypothetically speaking, if I were the one who stole it. I know there is a lot of speculation as to who committed this crime, and everyone has their own opinion of what went down inside the now empty Mt. Kisco Blockbuster franchise on that rainy Friday night. I thought it was necessary for everyone to hear what I have to say on the matter.

Hypothetically speaking, we’re well past the statute of limitations for petty theft, right? Can you be prosecuted for stealing something from a company that’s now out of business? I don’t think hypothetical confessions hold up in court anyways.