Amy Schumer Promised To Keep Giving Blow Jobs In Her Wedding Vows

NYP - If her vows are any indication, Amy Schumer’s marriage to Chris Fischer will be entertaining.

The 36-year-old comedian opened up about tying the knot and her first few weeks of wedded bliss by recounting the details of her big day on the Sirius XM show “You Up with Nikki Glaser,” reports E! News.

Speaking of their vows, Schumer exclaimed, “Mine sucked! I thought mine were good, I wrote mine in like, 20 minutes. I was crying when I wrote them, but his blew me out of the water so hard.”

“In my vows I go, ‘But I promise I’ll keep going down on you, even though everyone tells me I won’t,’” she chuckled. “And his were like, heckling me too. He was like, ‘The other day I lost a tennis match and you called me a f–king loser.’ It was all like awful s–t.”

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There goes that crazy Amy Schumer again. So crazy! You won’t believe what she’s gonna say next! It doesn’t matter if she’s doing bad Netflix specials, zany movies, thumping down a red carpet, or reciting her wedding vows, she’s gonna be WACKYYYYYY.

I mean, not only could she not just have a normal wedding, she couldn’t wait to talk about it. She absolutely could not wait to hop onto any talk show she could, thinking her line about giving her husband blowjobs was going to absolutely crush it.

She’s just keeping it real, you guys. She called him a “loser” after he lost a tennis match. That’s so crazy, haha can you imagine? She talked to her husband like a normal person omg #goals.

I’ll give Schumer credit though- she keeps doing the same thing. The more the public opinion of her goes down, the more people grow tired of her act, the more she keeps doubling and tripling down. I hope for her next act she goes with the good ol’ fashioned “disappearing and never coming back”.