EPA Head Says He Needs to Fly First Class Because People Are Mean to Him in Coach

(WASHINGTON) — The head of the Environmental Protection Agency has broken months of silence about his frequent premium-class flights at taxpayer expense, saying he needs to fly first class because of unpleasant interactions with other travelers.

EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt spoke about his flight costs on Tuesday in a pair of interviews in New Hampshire, following a first-class flight to meet with the state’s Republican governor and tour a toxic waste site.

Pruitt told the New Hampshire Union Leader he had some “incidents” on flights shortly after his appointment by President Donald Trump last year.

“We live in a very toxic environment politically, particularly around issues of the environment,” said Pruitt, who confirmed to the newspaper that he had flown first class from Washington to Boston before continuing on to New Hampshire. “We’ve reached the point where there’s not much civility in the marketplace and it’s created, you know, it’s created some issues and the (security) detail, the level of protection is determined by the level of threat.”

This guy.  Scott Pruitt.  I fucking love this guy Scott Pruitt.  One of the most applicable movie quotes ever is the “Act As If” speech from Ben Affleck in Boiler Room.  Act as if you got a 10 inch dick. Act as if you know the answer to everything.  Act as if you’re a hybrid combination of President of the United States and every ultra powerful world leader that requires 24/7/365 360 degree full security.

Pruitt is the first EPA administrator to have a 24-hour security detail that accompanies him at all times, even at the agency’s headquarters in Washington. He has also taken other security precautions, including the addition of a $25,000 soundproof “privacy booth” to prevent eavesdropping on his phone calls and spending $3,000 to have his office swept for hidden listening devices.

Incredible.  I mean environmental people are NUTS.  They’re out there like laying down in front of bulldozers in the forests and kamikaze ramming speedboats into whaling ships and shit.  You think Scott Pruitt wants some protection for that?  Hell fucking yeah he does!

Now for the flights.  That’s the major issue it seems.  Scott Pruitt is flying first class everywhere he goes because he had a couple of unpleasant interactions with people in coach.  My guy took a $1700 first class flight from Washington to NYC.  That’s one of those flights where you hit cruising altitude, open your computer and the flight attendants tell you to shut it down because you’re preparing for landing.  Seems outrageous…

…For the poor shmuckos who have never flown first class.  Buddy…there’s no going back from first class.  You get a taste of that sweet first class nectar you can never ever go back to the slums of coach.  This company flew KFC and me to Vegas first class back in the day and since then I either walk everywhere I go or take enough Xanax that I don’t have to be conscious for 1 second with the street trash riff raff in coach.  You got the means and power to get First Class seats everywhere?  You use it.

Pruitt said he was not involved in the decision for him to fly first class.

“There have been instances, unfortunately, during my time as administrator, as I’ve flown and spent time, of interaction that’s not been the best,” Pruitt told WMUR TV in Manchester, New Hampshire. “And, so, ingress and egress off the plane … that’s all decisions all made by our (security) detail team, by the chief of staff, by the administration. I don’t make any of those decisions. They place me on the plane where they think is best from a safety perspective.”

Pruitt was asked about the issue following a Washington Post report on Sunday that detailed some of his travel expenses, including a $1,641.43 first-class seat for a short flight in June from Washington to New York City. Pruitt’s ticket cost six times what EPA paid for his aides seated in coach.

The Associated Press reported in July and again in December that spending on commercial airline tickets purchased for Pruitt indicated he was flying in premium-class seats. EPA’s press office has repeatedly refused to comment on whether Pruitt was flying first class.

People are always using the complaint “my tax dollars!”  I mean I get it.  In theory, the government taking half of the paycheck we work our ass for and giving it to old rich guys to fly First Class from Washington DC to New York City is not ideal.  Some might even call it stealing.  Not being able to replace your washing machine because Scott Pruitt took too much of your last paycheck to enjoy extra leg room and free drinks, that could cause some anger.

Unfortunately I respect a power move like this so much I just cannot physically get myself mad about it.  Take my money Pruitt you beautiful son of a bitch.  Want more?  Bump me up a bracket.  I don’t care.  I’ll just work harder.  You just pull that big velvet curtain closed on all the common folks and keep doing you.