Oregon Golf Course To Offer Trained Goats As Caddies

Golf Digest — The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch in Seneca announced the opening of a new seven-hole course called “McVeigh’s Gauntlet” in 2018. As if that name wasn’t cool enough, golfers will have the option of taking trained goats as caddies when they take on the seven-hole track.

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According to the resort, the caddies are raised right on the ranch. And they’ll be equipped with a special pack that will allow them to carry drinks, golf balls, tees and even a few clubs.

“We’re taking the golf experience at Silvies Valley Ranch to a new level in 2018,” says Silvies owner Dr. Scott Campbell. “We’ve been developing an unprecedented caddie training program with our head caddie, Bruce LeGoat, to ensure that he and his team are ready for the opening of The Gauntlet this summer. We’re truly redefining both goat and golf operations at the ranch. Can you think of another course where its caddies were literally born, raised and fully educated on-property? We will get you a caddie who really knows the course and won’t give you any bad advice – and they work for peanuts!”

Not a great look for human caddies here. Not a great look at all. It’s one thing to have a sophisticated machine take your job, as has happened throughout much of the workforce, but a goat? A fucking goat? That’s tough. Goats are idiots. I mean no offense to goats but being known for sauntering around eating grass and playing “ba-ah-ah-ah” on repeat isn’t necessarily the pinnacle of intelligent life. So now you’re telling me we took this gig, caddying, which thousands of folks have taken up as lifetime careers, and replaced the people with goats? Yikes. No way to spin this for human caddies — a goat hopping right in and doing your job is a bad, bad look.

PS —

Player: You know where the pin is here?

Goat caddie: Ba-ah-ah-ah-ack.

PPS — GOAT goat song.