Great News! If You Propose Inside A Panera On Your Wedding Day They Might Cater Your Wedding For Free

Nothing says romance like popping off that proposal in a strip mall right before your “food is ready” beeper goes off, like you’re pigs at a trough, and while surrounded by strangers at lunch!

But I guess I have to hand it to Panera here, brilliant marketing plan. Get some retweets, get some bloggers to write snarky blogs, you know, make sure the Panera name is all over the internet and still barely have to fork over any free food. Why? Because they’re fully aware that a “wedding” for a couple that proposes in a Panera takes place in a backyard with just immediate family. No friends go to that couples wedding a) because they don’t have any and b) because I won’t go to your wedding if it’s a cash bar so forget about it if I’m getting served a salad and a baguette. Honestly, an engagement proposal at a fast food restaurant probably doesn’t even get to wedding day so the “catering” will be for a single man, weeping in his apartment furnished with a futon, no art on the wall, and a TV propped up on a stack of milk crates. He’ll be thrilled to eat anything but a Hungry Man, the sodium has been making his feet swell.

So congrats to Panera for pretty solid marketing but pray for anyone who attempts to “win” this catering. They’ve got a sad, lonely life ahead of them.