In 2018, We're Using Condoms Again And Daily Moisturizers

Lots of changes coming from me. I’m excited about them too. You see, I’ve been married for a while now so I’ve been off condoms for a bit. I just do it without any type of care in the world. When you’re younger, you wanna go raw dog! Exciting! The first feel of vaginal pleasures really sends you over the moon. You’re not in a place where you can raise the kid or get HIV but you dont care. You gotta feel what it feels like without the condom. With some young ladies, it’s the risk factor of being a Russian building climber.

Sure, the rush is there but eventually, you could fall to your death or at the very least, gential warts. YUCK!

Anyway, my move back to condoms isn’t about sexual health. It’s about stamina. Whoa. Last longer. Very nice. Keep it going… Plus, the condom industry has changed so much in the last 8 years that I’m excited to see what else is out there. The iPhone was just invented the last time I was having protected sex. I bet they’ve changed so much. I’m talkin lamb skin, flavors, ribs, rivets, vibrating little shits, humming little kabobs, fire, ice, cherry. Maybe strawberry. Whoa. Mango? Incredible. The condom game is wonderful and I dont want it to pass me by.

Additionally, my skin is too dry! I need to do a daily moisturizer. I’ve said that for years and it’s time to put that into action. My pores are gonna be wet as hell and so is your bitch. I’m just goofin. Good skin goofin.

More on my skin later. That’s a promise.