Two Brothers Got In A Fist Fight After One Of Them Asked, "Is This Piece Of Cheesecake Big Enough For A Grown Fucking Man?"

Tuscaloosa News- A Moundville man is facing a domestic violence charge after a disagreement with his brother over a piece of cheesecake. The Moundville Times reported that Moundville Police Chief Toby Banks was called to a disturbance at a residence where the half-brothers live together at noon Dec. 26. “Banks said he was asked for his opinion on whether the piece of cake was big enough for a grown (expletive) man,” the paper reported. “He said he thought it was.” According to court records, the older brother, 24, was still holding the butcher knife he used to cut the dessert when they began arguing about the portion size. The victim told police his brother punched him in the face and busted his lip. The victim told the police chief he felt threatened by the knife. The older brother said he was just holding it and never intended to use it. According to the police report, the suspect told the chief “they were arguing over the pie, but he only patted the victim on the face and head like a dog.”

We’ve seen this a million times and I say the same thing every time. There’s no way this is about the cheesecake. They might think it’s about the cheesecake but it’s not about the cheesecake. If you live with someone long enough especially your own brother, you are bound to hate each other. It’s been my experience with every roommate I’ve ever had. Maybe that’s a me problem but it’s true. You don’t realize you hate them. It happens very very very slowly. It’s the little things that then adds up into a much larger thing. Then one day you’re holding a butcher knife and about to throw hands over dessert. It happens before you know it.

Although I will say, the one brother challenging the other’s manhood by asking him if the piece of cheesecake is big enough for a grown fucking man is laugh out loud funny. I don’t even really know what that means but they are most definitely fighting words. Someone asked you a question like that, you have to punch them in the face. I really hope it catches on as a saying forever. You wanna challenge another man to a fight? Ask him if this piece of cheesecake is big enough for a grown fucking man then BOOM the fists start to fly. That’s the world I wanna live in.