A Six-Hundred-Year-Old Bob Dole Just Brought The House Down With The Simplest Joke Of All Time

I’m not here to age-shame or take away anything from what Bob Dole has done for this country. NPR described him as “a soldier, legislator and statesman” and I couldn’t agree more. There’s something to be said about his  commitment and devotion to service. But I need to say what everyone is thinking…Bob Dole doesn’t look to hot. Like, I know that he’s alive but when was the last time someone checked for a pulse?  At first glance I thought he was a chattering pirate skeleton on loan from Disney Land. There needs to be some sort of age restriction on going out in public. I get that it was a special occasion but still.

At any rate, how about that joke?!

“I want to thank all those who said such kind words about me. They’re probably not true, but they were nice! “

Got em! Simple, yet effective. Even Donnie had a good chuckle. Were they laughing out of respect? Who knows, but a laugh is a laugh. I guess I should’ve seen it coming.

Even after he lost his legs he kept his sense of humor. Good on you, Bob. You have my vote for 2020. Just make sure you’re alive so it will count.