Japan's National Public Broadcaster Sent Out A False Alert About Japan Being The Target Of A Launched Missile

CNN- Japanese national broadcaster NHK issued an on-air apology Tuesday after issuing an alert incorrectly claiming that North Korea had launched a ballistic missile. The message, received by phone users with the NHK app installed on their devices, read: “NHK news alert. North Korea likely to have launched missile. The government J alert: evacuate inside the building or underground. The broadcaster apologized for the error, adding “the news alert sent earlier about NK missile was a mistake. No government J alert was issued.” The mistake was corrected within minutes.

There’s an old saying in Tennessee, I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says “Fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me, you can’t get fooled again”. And that’s exactly how I am treating every single missile notification from here on out. I was firmly on Team Cover-up after the Hawaii missile scare and this story only strengthens my stance. The media can tell me that these missile notifications were just some entry level grunt hitting the wrong button or it was just a good old fashioned fat finger mistake. But I know the truth. I know we are either shooting missiles down at an incredibly efficient pace and/or Kim Jong-Un’s shitty missiles are losing steam the minute they leave Pyongyang and random North Korean cities getting their tits lit up to nuclear heaven.

I’ve been told by my government for years that aliens don’t exist despite all the evidence that suggests otherwise. In fact, that’s my newest theory. The aliens are the ones shooting the missiles down. They have been watching us for years with a very specific plan in mind for what they want to do with mankind. They aren’t going to let us destroy ourselves. No, no, no (Dikembe Mutombo voice). The extra-terrestrials are playing the long game. I’d believe that theory before I believe the person in charge of hitting the button and alerting people that their lives may be about to end is just firing off guesses like the Twitter accounts announcing who the next Giants coach will be. I am not going to sit around and let my iPhone turn into the boy who cried nuclear holocaust while the government and media continue to Frank Drebin our asses.

P.S. If you can’t trust NHK TV, who Piston Honda shouted out in Punch Out once upon a time, who can you trust? Fake News knows no boundaries these days. Scary stuff! (A tweet will have to suffice since I can’t find a screen grab of the quote)