This Occupied Ski Lift Getting Blown Around In A Blizzard Is Why I Don't Do Things

Yep that’s gonna be hard no from me. Look at that goddamn ski lift. Just blowing in the breeze like a flag. That could happen to anyone who goes skiing. Anyone. This might be a hot take but I’ve never understood the appeal of skiing or snowboarding. Lots of my friends do it. They have invited me many times (friend brag) and I just don’t get it. You put on 600 pounds of gear, wander out into the freezing cold to the top of a mountain and then fly down the said mountain at a billion miles per hour, risking life and limb in the process. Admittedly, I did go snowboarding once (shoutout to Sundown Mountain in Dubuque, Iowa). It didn’t go well. I spent 98% of my time on the bunny hill and fell no less than infinity times. The worst part is I felt like a burden to my pals. “There goes fat and clunky Trent falling again.” It was a bad scene.

However, I do enjoy the lodge. I’m a big lodge guy. That’s my scene. Sitting in a wooden room, a fire place in the corner, drinking an amber-colored beer that someone tries to tell me where it was brewed. That’s the life for me. Part of me wants to pretend I’m a big ski guy and then just sit in the lodge while all the other people go out and risk breaking their necks. I’d like to see how long it takes for my friends to realize I never leave the lodge.