Somebody Stole A 1.3 Million Dollar Bottle Of Vodka That's Made Out Of Diamonds And Gold

TIME — Copenhagen police are investigating the theft of a bottle of vodka that is claimed to be the world’s most expensive at $1.3 million. Police investigator Knud Hvass says it is too early to say whether the perpetrator of the theft at the Cafe 33 bar had broken in or had used a key. Nothing else was stolen. Hvass said Wednesday police were notified of the theft on Tuesday. Denmark’s TV2 says the bottle of Russo-Baltique is made of 6.6 pounds of gold and the equivalent amount of silver with a diamond-encrusted cap. Bar owner Brian Ingberg whose bar has 1,200 vodka bottles, told Denmark’s Ekstra Bladet tabloid that the bottle resembles a vintage car front.

What kind of a bum thief do you have to be to steal a bottle of vodka? Think about that. This dude is a loser. It wasn’t like he was just some drunk dude who swiped the bottle for the story. This was a planned heist that took hours to plan, man hours to complete and it was all for a bottle of vodka. Big time loser. Imagine how hard all the other thieves are laughing at this guy behind his back. I would kill to see the group message texts between the world’s top thieves right now.

They all be like

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Stealing an expensive bottle of booze has to be the lowest spot on the thief totem pole. By far. It’s miles below diamond thieves, casino heist guys (English is tough) and bank robbers. I’d even put pick pockets above booze thieves. At least they end up with money or an identity they can steal. This guy who stole the bottle of vodka just has……..a bottle of vodka now. He can’t sell it. Nobody wants it. And here’s a hot take for you, vodka SUCKS. It’s terrible. So now this guy just has a shitty bottle of booze while all his peers laugh at him. Was it worth it? Probably not.