Guy Covers His Entire Yard In Metal Spikes To Prevent Birds From Pooping On His BMW

Source - A Twitter user has expressed outrage at the use of ‘anti-bird spikes’ in Clifton trees to protect expensive cars from droppings.

The spikes – which are usually used to stop birds resting and building nests on ledges and nooks on buildings – have been nailed to two trees in the front garden of Essendene House and Heathfield House between Clifton Down and Pembroke Road.

The properties are privately owned flats and one resident has confirmed the spikes are “solely to to protect cars” – which include a number of expensive BMWs and Audis – from bird poo.

The ‘anti-bird spikes’ are commonly used in shopping centres – including Broadmead and Cabot Circus – to protect shoppers from falling bird poo. But the use of spikes in trees is a much less common occurrence, although the Bristol Post understands the spikes in question have been in the Clifton trees for some time.

It’s an outrageous move to cover your trees in spikes rather than park your car in the garage…but I respect the hell out of it. He could have easily chopped down the tree or poisoned the birds but he didn’t. He chose the non-lethal route. He kept mother nature in check while at the same time complimenting her beauty. Sure, it looks like something out of a Tim Burton movie but the neighbors will learn to love it.

Besides, what was he supposed to do, let the birds shit on his car? No. Not on a BMW at least. If I spent seventy grand on a car I’d chop down every tree within a five mile radius. The second poo exits a bird body it becomes cement. Can’t have that fucking up my paint job. A bird took a dump on the roof of my jeep like two years ago and the stain is still there.

He worked for his car, he may as well protect it. The neighbors are just jealous they don’t have the means to do the same. They should be thanking him, not blowing him up on Twitter. The spike tree benefits everyone. Even Karen with her 2002 Camry. So what if the pigeons are displaced? They’ll adapt and overcome just like they have for thousands of years. If he really wanted to get back at the neighbors he’d remove the spikes and put up a bunch of bird feeders. Guarantee they’d be asking him to put the spikes up within a week.