Why Did Ian Poulter Use A Ferrari For Elf On The Shelf? Cause He's An Asshole

WHAT AN ASSHOLE! Hey did you guys know Ian Poulter owns Ferraris? He barely ever mentions it. Poulter is the biggest asshole running and everybody knows it. This really just adds to his asshole legacy. Because you know his kids won’t love that. They wont give a shit about that at all. Poulter just wants you to know that he owns Ferraris. In his head he’s thinking, “LOL I’ll wrap one of my Ferraris and put the elves on it. LOL I’ll say it’s for the kids but it’s really just to tell people for the 3,583,894th time that I own Ferraris.” So much so that he went through the trouble of wrapping one of them in wrapping paper. He’s the worst. Poulter should be counting his lucky stars that he even has the money to pay for Ferraris. He was one miraculous math calculation from losing his Tour card last year. He should be grateful he can even put food on the table. Fuck that guy.

By the way, how weird is Elf on the Shelf? Weird as fuck. An elf that moves around your house at night and watches little kids? People have been arrested for far less than that. Although if you’re a parent I can understand why you’d do it. Kids are a nightmare. Kids are monsters. If parents want to shame their kids with, “Santa/elves are always watching so you need to behave” to get them to not be monsters, god bless ya. In fact, if I were a parent I’d do Elf on the Shelf 365 days a year. Keep those little bastards in line all the time.