Donald Trump Has Taken Another Preposterous Sip Of Water

Why can’t this guy drink water? Of all the primal things we do, drinking water is no. 1. Life can’t exist without water. When we look for life on other planets (shoutout science) we look for water. That’s where we start. Gotta have water. Why the fuck can’t Trump drink water? What is he doing? Why does he handle things that hold water like they’re blazing hot bagel bites straight out the oven? If you gave a 6-month-old toddler that’s never seen a bottle ever a bottle of water it would drink it more normally than Trump drinks water. Has he had servants pouring water down his throat this whole time? That’d be incredible. A spoon-fed child is one thing — a bottle-fed adult/POTUS is a whole other level.

First it was this bottle.

And now it is this glass. Can somebody please teach Donnie how to drink water for fucks sake. He’s 71.