Stormy The Cow, Obviously Still Distraught About Carson Wentz, Was On The Loose This Morning In Philadelphia
Everybody in the city of Philadelphia has been handling the news about Carson Wentz differently. Some people have fallen down a vicious cycle of depression and have lost all hope in the rest of the season. Other people, like myself, have performed so many mental backflips that we’ve convinced ourselves that maybe Nick Foles can actually get it done. And then there’s Stormy. A cow that was a part of a live nativity scene, who realized that the only baby Jesus she wants to be around right now is the Ginger Jesus. So not only did she break out of the live nativity scene once this morning, but two (2) times.
7.5 years old. That means that she’s never even seen the Eagles win a playoff game. In fact, she’s only seen the Eagles in the playoffs twice her entire life. 2010 with Vick losing to the Packers and 2013 with Nicky Six and Chip Kelly losing to the Saints. So Stormy has been through a lot in her 7.5 years on this planet. She’s seen it all. She’s had a couple of years with Andy Reid. The rise and fall of Chip Kelly. I don’t know what the life expectancy of a cow is but I have to imagine that Stormy is at least entering her back 9 here. This was the year she was finally going to see a Super Bowl. So excuse her if she’s too nervous about her good friend Carson and can’t just wait around in some live nativity scene in Old City while he’s lying in a hospital bed recouping from surgery.
I’m just glad they didn’t have to kill Stormy like that Bull that was loose on 76 last year. Trust The Process.
P.S. – Yes. Clearly it’s a slow morning in Philly.