The People Are Awesome 2017 Compilation Is The Best One Ever

I live for this stuff. This, to me, is the internet in all its glory. Maybe these compilations are played out, but if you don’t enjoy watching that, you’re a scrooge. My mind is in tatters after watching that video. I like to play a game called “Could I do that?” while I watch. Keeping in mind that stunts are my 10th best sport, here are the events I believe I could do myself:

That hoop isn’t 10 feet, clearly. I can dunk on a 10-foot hoop. As such, I can do this.

Self-explanatory. I can ride a bicycle. This is a child. I can ride a bicycle better than a child.

Same reasoning as before. I can play soccer and I’m capable of hopping on one foot. These are the tools you need for this skill.

The jump slide. I think we blogged this way back when. All you need here is a massive pair of testicles and a decent sense of direction. Don’t think about how likely it is that you’ll take the edge of the slide up your asshole. Throw caution to the wind and hit that chute. No problem.

I’m excluding the other kid activities, like the weightlifting and the nun-chukking. I suspect I could learn those, and obviously I can lift more than that little girl, but there’s no point in pointing that out. And that’s pretty much it. That’s the extent of what I can do. Let’s talk about the things I CAN’T do.

This guy?

Having someone kick the shit out of your stomach while you back squat 315 without holding the bar, in boots and jeans and a beanie? No chance.

This move in parkour always blows my mind. Dude is bouncing down the bricks on his hands. Doesn’t gravity say he should smash his face into one of those walls? This doesn’t make any sense. I can’t do it.

This might be fake. I can’t understand what the fuck happened here. I’ve watched this 10 times and it’s not getting any clearer. Some kind of archery pinball mixed with blind magic? How transparent is that blindfold? You can’t just catch an arrow out of thin air. Due to the sorcery at play here, I don’t think I can do this.