Philly Prisoner Escapes Only To End Up Needing To Get Rescued Out Of A Trash Truck
First of all–live look at the 2017-18 Philadelphia Flyers trying to turn their season around:
NBC Philadelphia – Firefighters dug through trash and debris in the back of a trash truck as they worked to free a prisoner who tried to escape from a Philadelphia halfway house.
The prisoner hid in a dumpster at the The Kintock Group home along the 300 block of East Erie Avenue that was picked up and emptied into the Waste Management truck around 5:30 a.m. Monday, according to the facility and fire dispatchers. Firefighters located the man in the compacter section of the truck and worked to get to him by removing trash for more than two hours.
Second of all–you know what? I feel like the typical take here would be to make a few jokes at this guy’s expense for being so bad at escaping that even the trashmen in Philly could capture him. Then if I were from outside of the city I’d probably make a few more jokes about “how is getting trapped in the back of a trash truck different from getting trapped anywhere else in the city of Philadelphia?” because all of those people who make fun of Philly for being a trash city are so clever and original and they should all get hour long stand up specials on Netflix. But you know what? I get it. I know exactly what was going through this escaped prisoners mind when he decided to get out of that halfway house and I totally understand.
For the first time since 2004, the Philadelphia Eagles have started off the season 10-1. For the first time since Allen Iverson, the Sixers actually have something to be excited about with Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid. Poor guy over here has spent the last however many years of his life behind bars. His final stop before getting back into the real world is this halfway house. That’s the only thing keeping him from being able to head down to the stadiums on Sundays and the only thing keeping him from being able to get out to the potential parade in February. So the morning after the Eagles lay a beatdown on Chicago and you realize this team is physically incapable of having a let down game? You start to realize that for the first time in a long time, being a Philadelphia sports fan isn’t filled with complete misery and you want a part of the action. So buddy decides to sneak out in the middle of the night, hide in a dumpster (otherwise known as a swimming pool here in the City of Brotherly Love) and try to wait it out until the coast is clear without remembering that today is trash day. A minor miscalculation on our guy’s end here and now you have to imagine it’s going to cost him big time.
It’s not very often that I feel bad for an escaped prisoner who needs to get rescued out of a trash truck in North Philly on a brisk Monday morning. But when you miss out on the chance to watch the best Eagles teams in our lifetime, then I genuinely feel for you.