Thor: Ragnarok Is One Of The Funniest, Best Movies Of The Year
***THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS IN THIS BLOG UNTIL I WARN YOU OF THEM***
Welcome back to Rob’s Monday Morning Afternoon Movie Review! We got pushed back today because daylight savings occurred and I’m a fucking idiot when I’m tired, so when my 8am alarm went off I looked at it in a haze, and said, “Oh, sweet! daylight savings is giving me another hour of sleep!”, and went back to bed. Not sure on the math there, but it further confirmed that I actually need some sort of professional help when it comes to sleeping and waking up.
Yesterday I went to the theater to see a movie I was ACTUALLY EXCITED TO SEE, Thor: Ragnarok! It’s the third film in the Thor franchise, and the seventeenth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which is obviously intimidating if you’re not a diehard fan, but they handle it so well that nothing gets too convoluted in backstory. If you ARE familiar with the backstory of previous movies, however, you’re rewarded at so many different points with references and jokes.
Imprisoned on the other side of the universe, the mighty Thor finds himself in a deadly gladiatorial contest that pits him against the Hulk, his former ally and fellow Avenger. Thor’s quest for survival leads him in a race against time to prevent the all-powerful Hela from destroying his home world and the Asgardian civilization.
These Thor movies fascinate me, because I hated the first one. I mean DESPISED it, thought it was possibly the most boring superhero movie ever made. Then I loved the second one, which I don’t think many others did, but still thought maybe Thor should be reserved for group movies after that. He works so well with the other Avengers on screen as the weird dude from another planet. He’s got a Jared Carrabis vibe, where nothing he says or does feels entirely right because he’s an alien, but it’s fun to have him around. This movie proved Thor deserves his own flicks, and maybe a billion of them.
Chris Hemsworth breathes more life into the Asguardian than he ever has, and makes him one of the funniest, most compelling characters Marvel has ever produced. He also changed his look entirely, maybe thanks to Kevin Smith?
(Although being a huge Kevin Smith guy, I’ll say I thiiiink this was said by Marc Bernardin on Kevin Smith’s podcast, because it’s very rare for Ol’ Silent Bob to say anything bad about superhero movies)
The whole movie has an old school 80s-type vibe, where everything is super colorful and the score isn’t orchestral, it’s entirely synth-based. It was kinda like listening to the Stranger Things theme for two straight hours, which will NEVER be a problem with me. It’s a direct sequel to the other Thor movies, obviously, but it relates closest to the Guardians of the Galaxy films with it’s space/sci-fi/alien aura and environment, and it’s probably the change of pace that makes this so unique and great.
Every new side-character introduced is fantastic, from Korg (a soft-spoken rock monster, my personal favorite part of the whole flick) to the Grand Master, who’s pretty much Jeff Goldblum playing Jeff Goldblum, to Valkyrie, now one of the coolest sidekicks Marvel’s got. The returning characters, Odin, Loki, and Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk all shine and are better off for this movie than they were going in, and finally, Hela, the main villain in Thor: Ragnarok, is BAD. ASS. Cate Blanchett plays her (total smoke) and destroys Thor’s hammer with one hand in her first 30 seconds on the screen, immediately taking over Asgard and showing she ain’t nothing to fuck with.
Finally, I know everyone’s wondering: how is the fight scene between Thor and Hulk? Does it live up to my expectations? The answer is yes, yes it does, big time. It’s fucking awesome and blows many superhero vs superhero fight scenes away. The only one off the top of my head that’s definitely better from Marvel is Captain America and The Winter Soldier vs Iron Man at the end of Civil War, because that one has such a deep and compelling story behind it, and this one is quite literally an MMA fight, but it’s so great.
I could go on and on about everything Thor: Ragnarok did right, but we’d be here all day. I’ll give you the certified awesome, two thumbs up review from me, so go check it out. It’s a great escape from reality where you’ll have 2 hours and 10 minutes of pure fun, and as always, you should stay after the credits for two extra scenes.
***SPOILERS BELOW***
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***FINAL WARNING***
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***ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDN’T SEE THIS YET YOU’RE FUCKED***
Just gonna hit on a couple quick spoiler-y things here that I loved.
-Korg was probably my favorite movie character of the year and I was terrified that they’d kill him off to make us really hate one of the villains. I’m so glad they didn’t. Give him his own movie right this second. Every word out of this rocky motherfucker’s mouth made me giggle like a baby.
-Hulk absolutely splatting on the bridge at the end there put tears in my eyes. There were so many scenes like this, where a hero goes to follow a typical troupe and eats shit, like Thor trying to throw the ball through the window and trying to break free of the chains with his hammer in the beginning.
-Dr. Strange cameo! Loved the shit out of this whole scene. Benedict Cumberbatch is perfect as Strange, and seeing him interact with Thor and Loki amps me up for how he’ll deal with Tony Stark in Infinity War.
-Matt Damon cameo, that was some weird shit.
-Thor’s got one eye now! I wish they put an eyepatch on that gross hole in his face sooner, because that was yucky!
-They make a joke about Hulk’s dick in this, and Bruce Banner was stuck as the Hulk for like 2 years, so my question is: did he have to jerk off during that time? Definitely, right? How in the shit does he clean up his load? Gotta be gallons upon gallons of green cum everywhere, I mean flaccid he’s what, a foot wide, a yard long? Give dat boi a boner and he’s rockin a weapon of mass destruction. I’d hate to be apart of the cleaning service at Grand Master’s house.
Alright, with all that dick talk, I think it’s about time we get outta here.