Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Is It Weird That I'd Rather My Commute Take Longer But I'm Moving The Whole Time Versus A Shorter Commute But I'm Stopped?

Screen Shot 2017-10-24 at 12.48.15 PM

I have a morning arrival routine that some people consider odd or peculiar or nonsensible. I have a breakfast sandwich every morning. Sausage, egg and cheese. Best part of my day — I fucking love it. Actually get excited when I wake up because I know I’m within an hour of breakfast sandy time. There’s a small deli next door to the office that makes fresh sandwiches. I pop in en route to work; however, since it takes about 5 minutes for them to make ‘em fresh, I pop in, make eye contact to initiate the creation of my sandwich, then head up to the office.

I walk up to the third floor, drop my stuff off, say hello to the gang, glance over at Keith who’s pretty much already done blogging for the day, he doesn’t glance back, I chat-chat for 3 or 4 minutes, then head back down. When you really analyze it from a pure practicality standpoint, this move doesn’t make much sense. It doesn’t save any time. It doesn’t really do anything other than keep me moving.

My reason for doing this is two fold: 1) technically I arrive at the office earlier, 2) I simply cannot handle standing still. Drives me insane. It’s such a waste of time. No one ever got anywhere standing still. You can put that on a Wheaties box. Rather than order my sandwich and stand in the deli like a schmuck, I walk up three flights of stairs, drop off my bag, walk back down three flights of stairs, grab my sandwich, walk back up three flights of stairs (or just take the elevator).

Is this crazy? Maybe. One of the sales girls witnessed this move this morning and I told her it’s based upon the same theory that I’d rather, when driving, have a 30-min commute and be moving the whole time versus a 25-min commute and be stopped in traffic most the time. I’d rather take a short cut that’s actually a long cut but keeps me moving. Can’t stand not moving. I’m standstillaphobic.

So the question is, is this weird or is this the norm? I feel like most people are like me. We all see traffic and immediately bail out at the nearest exit. Out loud we claim it’s “faster” but in our brains we know that’s bullshit, it’s definitely not faster, we just despise standing still.

If you’re a standstiller you’re a little bitch. Don’t even think that’s arguable. Mover for life right here.