Dangle Days Weekend Recap: Jake Voracek, The Ankle Slayer

I’ve always said that one of the most important factors of what makes a dangle so special isn’t the move itself, but how humiliating it is for your opponent. Take this Jake Voracek move for example. There wasn’t anything too fancy about this move. It’s not like it was some absurd puck handling type of thing we’ve grown used to seeing in the weekly recap. But once you factor in how humiliating, emasculating and devastating this move was on Madison Bowey, you know it deserves the Dangle of the Week award.

First career NHL game. Gets turned completely inside out by Voracek. Loses his stick. Doesn’t even come close to ever making a play on the puck. And the worst part of all? That little shoulder shove that he gives Voracek is what ultimately gets the puck off his stick and right on the tape for Simmonds. So not only did he get toyed with on the dangle, but he’s the sole reason why the puck ended up in the back of the net instead of Voracek getting stuffed by Grubauer. Welcome to the league, kid. Now pack your shit and get out.

Moving on, this was a huuuuuuge week for between-the-legs goals. So here are the top 3 from the week. Not all of them are the traditional tweener but they all incorporate going between or around their legs in one way or another. Starting off with this gem from Robert Farmer in the EIHL.

Farmer has spent the majority of his career in England. He had 1 game in the OHL and 4 in the ECHL. Other than that, it’s all English leagues for him which is a damn shame because this kind of skill shouldn’t get hidden in GBR. It’s one thing to pull off the between-the-legs here. Getting the puck right one the crease and still having the hands and the balls to pull off that move gets you a 100 on your Beauty Status. But to then go roof job with it as well? That’s just as raw as it comes. Fortunately for the goalie there, he didn’t have a water bottle perched up on the top shelf. Unfortunately for this next tendy, his water bottle has since been murdered.

I’d say this is hockey porn but the kid is only 15 and I don’t know what the rules are on that. But holy shit somebody get this kid a D1 scholarship to sign right now. Fakes the between-the-legs, pulls it back out front, backhand upstairs and I’m pretty sure that water bottle did a quadruple backflip. If you listened to last week’s episode of Spittin’ Chiclets, the boys were talking about who their all-time shootout lineup would be. I think I’d have to put Mark Estapa in mine right in there after Linus Omark and before Datsyuk.

Finally, we have Aidan Casey from the South Shore Lumberjacks going with the Steven Stamkos behind-the-legs.

What makes this one even better than the 2 previous dangles is that there’s another defender involved as well. The last two were just the goalies getting humiliated straight to hell. This time the goalie wasn’t even the first line of defense. He had his guy out there who was supposed to save him from this level of embarrassment. All the defender had to do was get a stick on the puck and everybody would have made it out of there alive. Instead, he gets walked and now that tendy is on Aidan Casey’s highlight tape for the rest of his life. A damn shame.

Auston Matthews, Still A Freak

Blogged it yesterday, just deserves an encore today.

Your “Holy Shit, That Guy Is Definitely Dead” Of The Week

Is it a charge? Yes. Is it boarding? Yes. Does it look like he was still going to make contact even before #21 on Rimouski fully turned around and was no longer directly facing the boards? Yes. But has somebody getting put through the glass ever not been awesome? No fucking way, buds. You put somebody through the glass and you get on Dangle Days the next Monday. That’s just a rule of life. I don’t care how scummy the hit was.

Your “Sometimes Danglers Can Be Enforcers Too” Of The Week

For the first time in his career, Tyler Seguin dropped the mitts and fought Patrik Nemeth on Saturday night. It may not have been quite as exciting as Nolan Patrick’s preseason fight this year, but you have to love any time a #2 overall draft pick tossing some hands. He also had a goal and an assist in Dallas’ 3-1 win over Colorado so that’s the first, hopefully not the last, Gordie Howe Hat Trick of Tyler Seguin’s career.

And that’ll do it for us this week, folks. Thanks for stopping by, go out there and have yourselves a week. And don’t forget to Stay Saucy out there, my friends.

@BarstoolJordie