Jon Lester Is Not A Fan Of Nacho Man And I Love It

ST. LOUIS — Just when it looked like the Cubs’ late-September lives couldn’t get any more charmed than they did in Milwaukee, get a tray load of what went down Monday at Busch Stadium.

And don’t forget the extra cheese.

“Great effort,” pitcher Jon Lester said. “But I don’t understand the other stuff.

“A guy fell into him and got nacho cheese on his arm and now he’s taking pictures and signing autographs. It shows you where our society’s at right now with all that stuff.”

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You know what this tells me right here, it tells me Jon Lester is officially ready for October Baseball. You may read this and say to yourself, lighten up Jon it was a harmless thing that happened in a blowout baseball game, but then you’d be wrong. Addison Russell having fun with the guy was awesome, Jon Lester hating this guy’s guts is even more awesome. Both can be true at the same time because that’s just how MLB Pitchers are wired.

I don’t want my pitchers to enjoy stories like this. I don’t want my pitchers to love selfies or social media. I want my pitchers being mean assholes that hate the world. That’s what makes a great pitcher great. You think Randy Johnson or Roger Clemens or Nolan Ryan would have liked Nacho Man? How about Bumgarner, or Kershaw, or Scherzer? Fuck no. Pitchers don’t have time for this frivolous bullshit. Leave the “make baseball fun again” shit to the position players. Pitchers are worried about eating umpires hearts and skullfucking batters. Now bring on October, I just got myself pumped up thinking about Lester scowling a batter down in the box. Now We Go.