Don La Greca Unleashed An All-Time Rant About The Giants Offensive Line And Sabermetrics Nerds

Well if the Giants are going to suck and Eli is going to die a brutal death on the gridiron, at least we will have some fun rants to enjoy. Don La Greca has been around for a while, but I feel like he has really stepped up his angry rant game in the last few weeks. We had this rant about Aaron Judge a month ago and now Donny went nuclear hardo on Ereck Flowers & co. as well as sports nerds. And I can’t help but feel this is because Big Don knows that there is about to be a YUGE void in the New York media for a blowhard to yell about sports, how much he knows about football, and how stats are overrated.

Back to the rant. It really had it all. I’ll admit that I’m a sucker for a Pythagoras Theorem joke. Just saying it makes you feel kinda smart and witty. But the lisp while playing the role of a sabermetrics nerd was Emmy worthy and shoved everybody that ever bought a Bill James book into a locker. We have an exclusive picture of Nate Silver after listening to that rant and it was not a good look.

When Don goes back and watches the film of this rant like any true Football Guy would, he is going to kick himself for not didn’t bring up any “living in your parent’s basement” jokes. Luckily his head turning redder than a cherry Starburst while also looking like it was about to explode likely distracted the audience. That was such an outrageous rant, I don’t even know if he purposely conjured up the memory of Mike Gundy’s I am 40 rant

as well as the Bobby Knight game face rant.

Somebody better tell the Pharaoh of FAN that he has only three months to top this rant. Because it registered as a 9 out of 10 on the Mount Francesa Eruption Scale.

P.S. I hate to disagree with that maniac La Greca, but I guarantee Pythagoras fucked all sorts of chicks back in the day. Big brains in Greece carried more cachet than money, fame, and big dicks do today. If you invented a theorem about triangles, you better believe you were playing the role of the hypotenuse with two Greek goddesses every night.

P.P.S. The ENTIRE Giants O-Line doesn’t suck, but Ereck Flowers does indeed fucking suck.