All I'm Saying Is The Phillie Phanatic Probably Knows A Thing Or Two About Eatin Some Booty
Barstool Sports [dot] com often gets unfairly judged in certain corners of the internet for having some sort of “frat boy locker room culture”. They think we’re a website that only caters to a white male audience and constantly leave women out of the conversation. As if our CEO isn’t one of the most respected women in the digital space (trying to get a raise here) and as if we didn’t just hire Julie Stewart-Binks. Whatever. I’m not here to change anybody’s mind. But this blog is for all you ladies out there. Don’t be afraid, you don’t have to hide. I know you’re out there reading right now. This goes out to all of you.
Now I wouldn’t call myself an ass eating expert. Still a few credits short of my PhD. But if I had to venture to guess, I’d imagine the Phillie Phanatic probably tosses a salad with the best of them. For starters, that snout seems specifically designed for getting into the rough spaces. That right there is years and years of evolution coming to fruition. The Phillie Phanatic’s father was an ass eater. His father before him was an ass eater too. But I think we all know of the pink eye risks every time you head down there. So that nose has effectively become pink eye insurance. Just look at the depths his able to reach now.
Do I necessarily want to be talking about how good the Phillie Phanatic would be at eating ass? Obviously not. But like I said above. This is my duty as a journalist who does not strictly cater to men. The ladies in the audience need to know about this. Or guys who like to get their fart boxes tongued as well. I’m not here to judge. What I am here to do is to spread light on the fact that we have a world class ass eater in the city of Philadelphia and I don’t think many people have even considered it before.
Plus this ol’ son of a bitch is a real horn dog so you know he’d be quick to head down there.
