A Masshole's Tribute to Sean Payton
@Patriots pic.twitter.com/lpMDygsA1v
— Sean Payton (@SeanPayton) September 4, 2016
.
When you’re a Patriots fan, part of the challenge of every season is killing time while you wait for the AFC championship game to finally get here. Sure, you can distract yourself with minutiae like winning the division, clinching homefield, reacting to Bill Belichick shocking the world by getting rid of some freakishly athletic veteran for reasons only he understands.
But that’ll only get you so much. So we keep our mental focus with little philosophical debates. For instance last night I did book signing and got the usual “How much of it is Belichick and how much is Brady?” and “How much longer do you think Tom has?” Good questions, both. But my favorite, the one I like to bring up in the bar discussions and would use to size up my Christian Mingle dates if I didn’t only have eyes for the Irish Rose is, “If you had to have one NFL head coach other than Belichick, who would it be?”
The answer is simple. Like Highlander, there can be only one. Sean Payton.
In a league that’s been overrun with petty little goons who resent Belichick’s success so they attribute it to videotapes, bugged locker rooms, hacked scoreboards, jammed helmet radios and deflated footballs – I’m talking about your Eric Manginis, Tony Dungys, John Harbaughs and Mike Tomlins – Payton has been on the side of the angels.
Sure, he’s not alone. Andy Reid comes quickly to mind. But Sean Payton has been the guy who’s had the Patriots’ six more than any of Belichick’s other wingmen. In fact, almost a year ago to this day with Brady suspended, he not only Tweeted that Brady banner, the two had this exchange through the press:
Payton: “There aren’t a lot of people that can understand what Tom is going through. Certainly I’m one of them.”
Belichick: “It means a lot. I have a good friendship with Sean. We go back quite a ways. We’ve had a great working relationship, great professional relationship and a good personal relationship, so I’ve always appreciated his support. He’s had ours, we’ve had his, so I can’t say that about everybody, but certainly he’s been a good friend and good supporter.”
Payton can relate because he’s lived it. He’s been on the pitchfork end of one of Roger Goodell’s infamous “-Gate” suffixed witch hunts too. So he and Belichick are bonded in that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” ways that makes for beautiful and lasting bromances. And as far as I’m concerned, he’s deserving of a special place in New England. In the way that Israel awarded Oskar Schindler “Righteous Among the Nations” status. Not to mention he’s the one who called the onside kick that added another postseason choke job to Peyton Manning’s resume in the Super Bowl win (sorry, McAfee) that inspired a hurricane-ravaged region.
Obviously, I’ll be hoping he doesn’t coach his A-game this weekend and have us staring into the abyss of 0-2. But either way, Sean Payton has earned my respect. He can drink out of my canteen any time.