A Cat's Scratch Causes Erectile Dysfunction, Giving Positive Proof Cats are Evil
Source – A 23-YEAR-old man was left unable to get an erection after being scratched by a cat, doctors have revealed.
The unidentified patient, from Belgium, suffered erectile dysfunction due to an invasive cat scratch disease, according to BMJ Case Reports.
It is caused by bacteria called Bartonella henselae found in the mouth and claws of cats.
Those coming into contact with the disease can suffer fevers, pustules with complications from the illness even becoming fatal.
The young man told doctors he suffered the general symptoms including pain in his testicles. …
[T]he patient was unable to provoke erection despite his will even during periods of calm symptoms.
One thing I don’t abide is an argument that claims “the science is settled.” Science is never “settled.” It’s constantly evolving or else it’s not science. So everything is open to questioning. Global Warming. UFOs. Causes of cancer. Bigfoot. The search for knowledge is never ending and every topic is debatable.
Except one. Cats suck. That was already indisputable. But this settles any counter argument you can come up with. It’s not bad enough that you are your cat’s indentured servant. Or that if you drop dead your dog will wait by your side until someone finds you, but you’ve got at most 24 hours before your cat treats you like a big, open bag of Purina One. Now the soulless little demons have developed the power to take your erections away.
Think of the ramifications of that. Millions of men across the world, living with their wives’ and girlfriends’ cats. And now through some nefarious process of natural selection, they’ve evolved this nerve toxin that causes fevers, pustules, death, and – even worse – testicle pain and limp dick. You should need no further proof that men and cats were never meant to live together. And if you’re dating a chick that owns one, I suggest you make her an ultimatum immediately. That it’s either the cat or your junk. I mean you should have been doing that all along, but at least now you’ve got the research to back you up. It’s science.